Birthday Post, and Some Stuff I've Learned on the Way
Or: if you add a sunset to this, it'll be motivational as fuck
Yes, I’m fifty-five today (where did that come from, etc). And having lived life both large and dark, at times, here’s a random selection of the wisdom I’ve picked up:
Practice your art. Doesn’t matter what it is, and it doesn’t matter who sees it. In this age of craving platform and validation, remember you can do it, just for yourself.
Your Muse will not come calling. Whatever you name him, her, it or them, you have to go get them, club them over the head, and drag them the fuck back with you.
People aren’t talking about you behind your back. They don’t care. They have too much shit of their own to deal with, possibly including worrying that people are talking about them behind their back.
Walk away from toxic people. Easier said than done, I know, but walk away. They’re not going to get better, and their opinions are like a knobbled stick up their ass: they’re well and truly stuck.
Everything is transitory. However high you soar, however low you tumble, whatever hurt you carry, it’s finite. Let time do its thing.
If life faces you with a difficult choice, or if you’re regretting a choice you may have made, this is an important thing to remember. It will all, as they say, come out in the wash.
Anxiety and adrenaline are two sides of the same coin. Exercise and fresh air won’t cure you, but they really will help.
Your home is a node, a kernel, and the starting point of your personal wellbeing. Take time to look after it, to make it yours and welcoming. Simple things can make a huge difference to your baseline happiness, and they’ll spread out to the rest of your life.
Pets are amazing. Take good care of them.
Achieve something, even something little, every day. If you’re struggling, the smallest job-done-tick can make the difference.
In related news: stop achieving, and take a fucking break.
It’s perfectly possible to hold two conflicting opinions about something, at the same time, and for both to be real. This is a tough one, and it takes some understanding, but there is peace in finding the centre, and in knowing that both sides are equally valid. Something very Yin/Yang about it, I guess.
Don’t tell other people how to live their lives.
Keep a journal, but never share it.
Diet and lifestyle matter, particularly as we get older. As kids, we can do just about anything and our bodies will forgive us, but when we start pushing into our forties and fifties, our bodies get grumpy. Eat some vegetables.
The less you have, the more you will value it. This isn’t a mini-lecture about the ‘righteousness of being poor’ (eyeroll), just a reminder to appreciate stuff. Little things still matter.
Escapism is important. Be it reading, writing, gaming or watching the thing, you’re allowed to skip reality for a bit. It’s nasty out there, and you can let yourself off the hook.
Peri/menopause is nasty, and it brings a weird paradigm shift: men (women, people) stop looking. There’s nothing you can do about this, so just relax and enjoy the quiet.
Family matters, be that your relatives or the family you’ve found for yourself. Talk to them.
The internet is broken, and ‘going viral’ isn’t the hit you think it is. Put your phone the fuck down, and go out and look at the sky.
Reading: two books from very different ends of the fiction spectrum. One: Cat Ward’s Last House on Needless Street, a horror/thriller, which is quite off-piste for me, but which I thoroughly enjoyed. Beautifully wrought, threads and hints and gently woven images, that all blend together into a perfect and highly unexpected ending. And two: Kieran Larwood’s new Dungeon Runners, a charmingly flawless kidlit, coming soon.
Watching: Finished Fallout and it was absolutely fantastic. I’ve not played the game (though Isaac has) and we were both riveted. Walton Goggins turns in a truly glorious performance (proving that even ghouls can be hot, and how the fuck did he do that?), and the last episode was a masterclass in how to weave a narrative together. Go watch it now!
Playing: Our Cormyr adventures continue, in Arabel. We’re being fabulously shit at working out what’s going on, but we have gained a pet chair and managed to off a Harper agent (who was probably our contact) by mistake. Though it was good to see (or not) a member of the most hopelessly non-secret Secret society on the Sword Coast actually show some discretion!
I love this - thank you! And happy birthday xo
Fuck yeah, happy birthday Danie! 🎂 some great advice honestly as I just hit 40 last month. Best wishes from one transitory being to another.