In Praise of the Word Fuck

Or: Use It Wherever You Fucking Want

I’ve had a lot of flack for Ecko’s use of ‘fuck’, as he used it like a fucking comma. If I was going to be a fucking smartarse, I’d explain that it was deliberate, one of the manifest fucking differences between his London and fucking fantasy worlds, yet it seems many fucking people couldn’t see the fuck past its simple fucking presence.

Fucking snooty cunts.

So, in celebration of the word, of its versatility, its energy, and the simple satisfaction of fucking using it…

Fuck is a pressure value. It’s an expletive. Injure yourself, you say, fuck! Fuck is a command, as in fuck off, fuck you, fuck this. Fuck is both verb and emphasis, fucking jerk, pass the fucking salt. Fuck gives you a way to tell someone they’ve overstepped the line, shut the fuck up, go fuck yourself.

Fuck is creative and immensely satisfying, go take a flying fuck (at a rolling doughnut). It expresses and emphasises confusion like no other word, what the fuck, what the fucking fuck?

Fuck is a great word for a night in the pub, fucked again. Or for those who give you grief while you’re there, fucktards and motherfuckers.

Fuck is both rebellion and personal authority, don’t fuck with me, don’t do me any fucking favours, fuck the system, who gives a fuck?

Fuck expresses depressive anger, fuck the world, and equally the encouragement that’s its opposite, don’t get fucked up, fucked over.

Fuck expresses confusion, who the fuck are you, what the fuck is this, you’re fucking kidding me. It expresses exasperation, you dumb fuck.

Fuck is mark of higher intelligence, so stick that in your fucking pipe and smoke it.

Fuck would be one of those fucking words that adds emphasis to any moment or emotion. You can put it fucking everywhere, to enhance fucking anything, and still make fucking sense.

And finally, there’s it literal use. Those wonderful manuscript moments where your character whispers… fuck me.

Your editor or publisher may not quite see this the same way, of course, as some markets and readers still get fucking sniffy. (And if you’re writing YA or kidlit, then you’d best keep your swearing to yourself, when the words don’t quite flow as they should).

But hey, I fucking love it.

Reading: still The Cats We Meet Along The Way by Nadia Mikail, as I’ve been down with the lurg and have had a headful of fucking soup.

Watching: Gravity (Mavity) Falls. No idea how I’ve never seen this before, it’s (fucking) amazing. And check out my son’s fan-edit.

Playing: still have a Baldur’s Gate hangover, though am putting off that second playthrough. We have picked up a Mad Max style tabletop game called Gaslands, though, which looks very cool.

Just got to get painting some cars!